Pandemic Blues

Welcome back everyone, happy new year and all that jazz. The whole Christmas to New Year period really threw me for a loop, physically and mentally. I lost all semblance of routine.

I had two weeks off work, and was very excited to get work done on my various projects, but also just have time to relax without the ticking timer of Monday approaching. I think I habitually fell into the latter, so much time on the couch! Admittedly, an English Christmas in winter, plus lockdown, destroyed my ideals from the get go. I wouldn’t be spending any time in cafes writing my novel, or going for lovely picturesque riverside walks. I had a moral duty to stay indoors, and a desire to stay in the warmth. So why would I get out of bed before eleven in the morning? I didn’t! From bed to conch, meals fell out of step, and I either snacked far too much, or forgot to eat for hours. No energy to keep up my skincare routine, and because may partner was also home, no place to do my at home exercises unless I wanted his video game loud in the background, and an audience. Yeah, pass. Honestly, it was hard enough using a daily moisturizer to combat the dry indoor air.

I’ve gotten back into the swing of things now, but it was just unfortunate that my holiday was marred by such a permeating feeling of ‘meh’! I am envious of those who got to spend some of their time with friends and family. Even students, holed up in their accommodation, have a variety of people to talk to!

I think the hardest thing I’ve found with forcing myself back into a routine is the lack of creativity I feel inside. I’ll craft when it’s straightforward, or I have instructions, but anything that requires some more effort mentally, I just want to quit immediately. I’ll have book ideas out on a walk, but the second I get home, I’ve lost the passion. How are people out were living ful­filling lives and smashing goals when I’m here just trying to roll out of bed? Just give me a nice cafe! Please!

I think like most people, I’m afraid of finally getting out of lockdown, into a normal life again, and having nothing to show for all that time. Isn’t it ridiculous? Pandemic anxiety is real, cabin fever is real, and these two years will unfortunately be very real. I need to remember that it’s not always a realistic goal to want perfect clear skin, or to have lost weight as a result of all this time at home. There are things out of my control that factor in. Like only an hour of outdoor exercise a day, or indoor heating. At least I probably saved a lot of money on travel and food. Which I will likely blow the second I can enjoy life again. Oops!

Sorry this was such a brain dump, but let me know how you’re feeling. Similar? Have any tips for me?